sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
