You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
