if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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