I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
