Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
