quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
