I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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