OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
