put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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