she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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