we're chasing vodka with high fives
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
