She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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