Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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