she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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