i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I smell like Dick and happiness
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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