brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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