Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Oh god it's open bar.
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