I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize