Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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