is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
