My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
