Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
