Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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