Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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