OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
