haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
