Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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