So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
