I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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