my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i think im in europe. pls send help
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