people are starting to question the shark bite story
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
