3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
