is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
