If that was your dad, he is hot
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
handjob tips. give me some.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
