College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
not ubering you a puppy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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