I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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