Plan B is the new Plan A
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
