You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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