you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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