and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize