Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives

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  (513): Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives http://tfl.nu/d9wq
  Replies (137) Good night (2463) Bad night (610)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.

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  (414): I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex. http://tfl.nu/ut6h
  Replies (6) Good night (3487) Bad night (626)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.

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  (304): I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator. http://tfl.nu/x5we
  Replies (18) Good night (2766) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.

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  (617): I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not. http://tfl.nu/e6fg
  Replies (91) Good night (995) Bad night (7785)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  even your uterus rejects him.

  (1-562): View more from California

  apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.

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  (562): even your uterus rejects him. (1-562): apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body. http://tfl.nu/g0cm
  Replies (7) Good night (5250) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.

  (1-646): View more from New York

  Your pregnant arnt you

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  (646): There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil. (1-646): Your pregnant arnt you http://tfl.nu/t59m
  Replies (21) Good night (1609) Bad night (5306)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.

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  (843): Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat. http://tfl.nu/tf28
  Replies (7) Good night (1340) Bad night (3469)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.

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  (615): Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify. http://tfl.nu/zod7
  Replies (6) Good night (4164) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.

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  (416): I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn. http://tfl.nu/iixt
  Replies (13) Good night (2815) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink

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  (215): no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink http://tfl.nu/rce8
  Replies (3) Good night (1497) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?

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  (970): Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears? http://tfl.nu/m0sz
  Replies (4) Good night (704) Bad night (960)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.

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  (201): I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe. http://tfl.nu/ihd3
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.

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  (334): You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink. http://tfl.nu/xadi
  Replies (2) Good night (868) Bad night (173)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall

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  (805): THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall http://tfl.nu/p5vc
  Replies (7) Good night (433) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?

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  (720): Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps? http://tfl.nu/e9bv
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (163)

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