ADVERTISEMENT

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake

  Fav 8 878 1079

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.

  Fav 30 4241 1168

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.

  Fav 61 2450 4705

  share tweet
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  I'd suck anything for a pizza right now

  Fav 42 5683 2009

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

  Fav 35 5929 2614

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....

  Fav 8 2048 893

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.

  Fav 6 842 1145

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?

  Fav 5 2296 821

  share tweet
  

• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.

  Fav 11 1232 730

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.

  Fav 4 1243 683

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.

  Fav 1 746 645

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (909): View more from California

  You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson

  Fav 2 1187 532

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.

  Fav 2 463 967

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen

  Fav 1 53 5

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (289): View more from Ontario

  He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother

  Fav 1 11 71

  share tweet
  

Randomize