so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall