I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.