butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The power of my boobs compel you
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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