The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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