what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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