If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Of course I have a pirate flag
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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