Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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