But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
