a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
