the day after is always just damage control
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
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He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
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Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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