don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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