I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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