Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
