I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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