I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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