maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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