It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
