If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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