I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize