bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
