and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize