haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
