I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
