i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
